Lord, renew my strength so that I may praise You;
Breathe Your Spirit into me so that You will be exalted.
Even when persecuted, Your people will praise You;
When held back, they will only become stronger.
The voice of Your children will always be heard—
They cannot be silenced.
Great is Your name over all the earth—it will not be suppressed.
It is by Your existence I have been created;
By Your blood I am healed.
By Your love I continue to stand;
By Your hand I am able to move.
By Your Spirit my strength is restored;
By Your wisdom all truth is brought out.
By Your mercy forgiveness is given;
By Your grace we become Your children.
This evening as I was listening to some light piano music, instead of writing in my prayer journal as I intended, I began day dreaming…again.
I pictured myself at a piano trying to write a song. I’d get a few notes I liked, but then would get stuck as to what to play next. After awhile I became frustrated. Then Jesus came into the picture. (That’s always a good sign, right? 😉)
He came and sat next to me and had me start playing again. I started to play, but like before, I got stuck. Only this time Jesus immediately put His hand to the piano and played just a few notes that got me to where I immediately knew what to play next. We continued on like this and it was beautiful. Not just for the music itself, but for the way we were able to function together.
The song was my life, and allowing Jesus to help me in writing the song was allowing Him to help write my life story. It’s easy to want to write our life story all by ourselves and get all the credit. But to be sure, it’s not going to be anywhere near as beautiful.
This is something I wrote in my teens (probably around 15) that I found on some falling apart notebook paper while going through some old things:
A Small Voice
I say to myself, “What am I living for? What is my purpose?” Sometimes it seems like everyone else knows what they will do one day while I still ask myself, “What shall I do?”
Sometimes I feel I’m forgotten, in the middle of the billions in this world. “How could I be noticed or remembered? It’s like I’m not even here. How can I make a difference in others lives for the better? Is it possible? Or am I just too small and timid?”
I want to do something for Christ, to glorify His name, not my own. I want to help this lost world, save lives from eternal destruction. It’s like…I have a love for people that I haven’t even met. I want to show them how they can be saved, too.
I am trying to prepare myself to be ready to witness to others. I’m praying for God to fill me with His Holy Spirit so that He can work through me. I know already that I absolutely cannot do it alone. I am nowhere near bold enough. Even if I was, it takes more than boldness. It takes much, much more. It takes a faith that only comes from Christ. It takes a love so great that we are willing to endanger our own lives for the sake of others. It takes a wisdom from the Father to speak through us. It takes the Holy Spirit.
I want to do God’s will in my life—whatever it is. But what is it? What is God’s will for my life? That is a question I’ve wondered many times over the years. Now I must listen for a small voice as He speaks to my heart. Listen, and wait…
Where the Lord calls me, I will go;
Where I have need, He will provide.
Where He leads, I will follow;
When I stay in His light, He is there with me.
My body becomes stiff and my heart grows weary.
My legs get to where they can hardly stand and my head can no longer be lifted up.
I fall to my knees before You,
For still You are worthy to be praised.
With my face to the ground I worship,
For You alone are to be glorified.
You are my source of strength and Your Spirit is the air that I breathe.
You, O God, restore my soul.
You, my Lord, keep my heart uplifted.
I quiet myself;
In silence I wait upon the Lord.
All anger melts away;
The burden of distress is removed from my shoulders.
You bring peace to my soul and strengthen my heart;
You remind me that You are with me.
All distance is taken;
I am forever with You.
You are my Protector;
The enemy can do me no harm.
You withstand pain that the strongest man cannot survive.
You take hold of death that mankind cannot even see.
You bear the weight of sin that is not Your own;
You take all shame upon Yourself.
You take the punishment of death and offer restoration of life.
For a life that is broken,
You give life that is new.
For life that is short,
You give life that is eternal.
For a life that is empty,
You give a life that is filled.
A life that is in darkness,
You bring into light.
There are many days and nights I’m dreaming about what it’ll be like one day when I’m finally able with my own two hands to help special needs orphans overseas. Sometimes I think of how I’ll be able to help them, bless them—perhaps save lives even. This may sound selfish, but other times I think of what a blessing it will be to me.
I cannot even pretend that I know what it’ll all be like, but I know one thing: it’ll be a learning experience. And, I think, in a good way. Throughout my life, as I’ve done little things here and there to help others I can say it’s done as much, if not more, good for me as for them. As I grow older and do more for others I don’t expect that to change. There’s always going to be more for me to learn and areas for me to grow.
As we minister to others around us, it’s easy to feel good about ourselves because we did some “good thing”. When we are serving others we should, in fact, feel good—but not in a proud-like way—more like incredibly blessed, thankful way. Incredibly blessed with the opportunity to serve. The opportunity to use our God-given gifts to bless others as He has blessed us. The opportunity to see healing and restoration or whatever it was we took part in. And the opportunity to learn through those things.
We shouldn’t take opportunities to serve for granted. Truly, a chance to serve is a blessing to the one who’s doing the serving. When we walk past opportunities to serve I don’t think it’s commonly known how much we’re missing out on. The love, the joy, the satisfaction it brings…we need to look for ways to serve—we’ll be glad we did!
May Your desires become my desires,
And Your thoughts my thoughts.
May the works of my hands reflect Your ways;
May my feet be quick in the way You have for me to go.
May my heart be right before You,
And my words what You have placed on my mouth to speak.